Have you ever left anything so long that you can’t get back to it, even when you want to, because the fact you’ve left it so long means you don’t know where to begin? Can you guess what I’m talking about? This blog, maybe?
The only way to get to this, is, I think, to yadda yadda yadda a great deal of the past 3 months. Bullet yadda for me:
- I did what I said I was going to do. I took a break. I went on holiday. I ran a little bit, but mostly I sat or I walked and I talked and I canoed and I drank beer and I laughed and I got hot and bothered and very occasionally I cried – I basically lived for a good 6 weeks where life went on and I didn’t have a schedule. And it was good. I slept in, we traveled and I felt released from the feeling of “I’ve got to get my run in” or “get to bed on time because tomorrow’s a heavy day”.
- September was a bit of a rude awakening – the kids went back to school and I was faced with a pile of admin that had been cooking for a month or two and two quite big stressful situations. I won’t bore you with the details and none of it is life-threatening, but for the first time in my life I have found myself having to use a lawyer to resolve a work situation and, rather awkwardly, a lawyer to resolve a US immigration situation. Both situations have been hugely stressful and I have found myself completely swept up in the drama of it all.
- A couple of highlights in there – I met Chrissie Wellington (oh yes!). An incredibly inspiring woman, particularly because she has led such a rich life beyond sport and so has incredible perspective.
- And my main man, my wonderful husband ran his first marathon last Sunday. What a day! He did so well, ran to plan and finished (almost) strong. It was my first time spectating and man, I love it! It was amazing and so inspiring to see everyone out there.
And what of Ironman, I hear you ask? Well – there’s the rub. I wanted a challenge and I really seem to have picked it. So far, the training has not been too tough and I have been able to hang on with most of it. I’ve managed to pick up a shoulder injury with swimming (which is now spilling over into my biking) but even that is kind of manageable. I think.
The real rub is my attitude. Life has been busy and I have not taken the time to reflect. Taking the time to write in a journal, or on my blog (which is basically a journal) seems like yet another thing to do. And when you’re busy you’re just charging through your to-do list, you know? Except. Except that when I’m really honest plenty of time is wasted even when I am busy. And more pertinently – not setting out any intentions, or directions, for myself means that I end up living in a very reactive way. And training in a very reactive way.
The real challenge with this Ironman training is going to be the place it takes up mentally in my life. I’ve got used to fitting in marathon training around the rest of my life. But this is a different beast. Ironman training takes up more time – to train, but also to prepare to train (bike rack on car, check bike over, helmet, shoes, water bottle, keys) and to recover from training. And I hadn’t really realised that until this week when both children are home from school and suddenly I’ve struggled to fit in my training. I’ve got to prepare. (Not one of my strengths). And prioritise.
And most importantly, I’ve got to focus. I need to focus on the workout I’m doing, not just do it. And if I want to do the things I do besides Ironman training – be there for my husband and kids, cook good meals, read books etc – then I’ve got to focus. And I’ve almost been avoiding taking the time to do this.
So this totally uneventful blogpost – sorry – is my call to arms. To myself. Focus Petra. Figure out what I have to do, and how I’m going to do it. Stand by people. Because this is all going to start happening!